“Oh wow. You called me? That’s a first…” she giggles into the phone.
“Surprised, much?” he smiles.
“Yes! Very. You should try things like these more often. Give me compliments. Gifts. Attention.”
“So, what was that Facebook post about?”
“What Facebook post?” she feigns innocence.
“The one about something and something.”
“Oh that? That wasn’t about you. Never mind.”
“I know what the post was about and why that was put up, so stop acting smart.”
“Well, you go and like everything except my things up there, so…”
“But you are the one I call before I go to sleep. Remember that, okay? I call you. No one else.”
“Aww.” she says. “You have no idea how nice that feels. You’re so cute. Like a small toddler, sometimes…”
“Shut up. I am not cute. One rap I’ll give you, no?”
“But for that you’ll have to come back here, right? So take the next flight and come.”
“I have people there to give you raps.”
“You will let someone else touch me?” she laughs.
“I’ll break their bones right after, though.” he sneers.
“So basically, you’ll send someone to give me raps, and then they will come to where you are, and then you will beat them up?”
“Stop confusing me. One rap you will get from me!”
“Ooh. Interesting. Is rap a euphemism for something else?”
“A what?” he asks.
“A euphemism. A word substituting something insinuating something else.”
“No. It’s not a euphucking whatever. Stop using big words and confusing me. I mean what I said.”
“Right. Of course you did.”
“Stop patronizing me.”
“Now who’s using big words?” she laughs.
He sighs. “There’s no arguing with you, love. Good night.”