WTFness or Chauvinism or whatever you want to call this.

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So a dear friend of mine posted this on his timeline today. He was visibly appalled by the notice, and am beyond that right now. Am livid. How sexist. So someone is actually insinuating that women drivers WOULD need help parking their cars. What age are we living in? Although I don’t drive a car myself, this is something that am offended by, deeply. We’ve all heard our share of jokes about female driving. But when you put something like this up in a public place, you should be prepared for the amount of flak that’s going to come with it. I’m surprised no one has had that taken down yet. 

This is something I’ve faced at every level of life. Chauvinism of the highest order. Condescending looks. People asking me how I ‘manage‘ to travel alone. How I ‘manage’ a job. That reminds me of the time I attended a job interview, and in the last round, just when I was about to sign the offer letter, the HR person asking me to ‘consult’  my husband before taking up the offer. Needless to say, I walked out, fuming at the ears, after giving him an earful. 

And then again, our landlord in Chennai, refused to take the rent from me. Stated that I’d be better off ‘managing’ the house and letting my husband take care of financial matters. It was my earning, for ***k’s sake. Why should I back down? He would refuse to lodge any of my complaints regarding maintenance or what have you and would shut me off by saying – “Ask your husband to come, we’ll talk to him.”

So you’re basically implying that am not worth talking to, that am not capable of taking decisions regarding my own house, on my own, that you will take me in as an employee only if I have no objection from my husband. 

How does one even begin to fight something like this? I’m starting by educating my daughter that every one is equal. Making a conscious effort never to have my authority undermined by patronizing jerks. And showing people that am as good as the next person, if not better. 

 

 

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9 thoughts on “WTFness or Chauvinism or whatever you want to call this.

  1. We need more women to be offended by this mentality. We also need MEN to be offended by it. Great that you are teaching your daughter that everyone is equal. Are you also “teaching” your husband this? I am not trying to mock or be sarcastic. I really mean it. Unless our husbands are on the same page regarding this, they will keep sending conflicting signals to our kids and all our work in educating them will be for nothing. Would be best if our husbands didn’t need to be educated about this, but most do. Mine did, very early on in our marriage. Once he came back from a meeting of the apartment owners in our building. When I asked him what was discussed, his replay – “Nothing that should concern you”. I immediately cleansed his ears out and then informed him that it did concern me because I was an equal owner of the apartment that the meeting was about. Believe me, that was a BIG educative moment for him. He had never been exposed to that line of thinking before. (This is Cee Kay, by the way :D)

    1. I completely agree with you, Cee. Thankfully, most men in my life are on my side when it comes to gender equality. And I think the only way to combat inequality is education. Of our sons and our daughters. Teaching our sons is as or actually more important and that too, teaching by example, by living exactly how we want them to. Then they’ll know how to treat women. And kudos to you for putting your foot down when you had to. Hugs.

    2. I so agree with you Cee Kay….this is not the question of social acceptance….it should become the way of life…..no body needs to acknowledge that Earth has gravity ….it still exists and so does equality. Way too far sighted I may be ….but I don’t loose hope!

  2. Well written! George Orwell (The Animal Farm) said “In life …all are equal. The inequality and apathy is when some are more equal than the others” …need I say more?

  3. I was visiting my hometown Hyd from Chennai (just an overnight travel, okay!) and my dear friend was astounded so much that she asked, “You are so great! You travelled all the way?? ALONE? You are great, indeed” Truly it is not like I have survived some kind of cyclone attack of some sort..
    I wanted to give a nice punch on her cute little nose….And worse, her hubby was turned off by my hubby’s, carelessness( according to him..)
    I mean are we women supposed to be leading our lives holding on to our hubby’s little finger?!!

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