I told you am feeling sad. And you asked me to write about it. Melancholy and drama should be my middle names, you know. Actually drama queen should be my middle name, and who knows it better than you? So. Here goes.
No, am not sad because I didn’t get to eat chocolate today. It’s been a very weird week. A real roller coaster ride, as cliched as it sounds. From the euphoria of travelling to Bangalore, where I had a lovely time shopping, dinner with a dear girlfriend, and most of the time just sleeping in, to plain “why”ness. Someone told me once that I am my biggest enemy. That things are never as bad as they seem. That I over analyze things. That am obsessive about things. Which I first denied, but have now come to terms with. Yes, this is me. I have more or less tried to battle the demons in my mind, but sometimes you don’t really know if there is a silver lining to something. Like a 12 year old boy suddenly being taken. One moment, there he was, all smiling. And the next moment, gone. I still cannot believe it happened. Wasn’t it only the other day that I blessed him, touched his shoulders ? How does one say – it’s all for the best at times like these? How do you explain to a 4 year old that someone isn’t just there, anymore? And that tears come involuntarily. That eventually, she will understand? That you don’t need anything right now, and all you want is to just curl up and lie down? I really really hope the mother finds the strength, to cope. And that someday, she will be able to look back at his life and smile. For all the happy times he’s given her. Like I do, about Amma.