Pain…

sometimes just closes in on you. Without warning. Like a silver blade cutting s.l.o.w.l.y but surely into your skin. Gouging, bloody pain. Sometimes all it takes is something as simple as someone wearing a saree similar to yours, Amma. Or Harshitha’s lips, which twitch *exactly* the same way yours did… I know you’re out there, happy, somewhere, but I wish I had someone who loves me as unconditionally and as biasedly as you did. Biased because you thought I wasn’t fat, ever. Because I was never wrong. I never could be wrong. You knew not to say “I told you so.” You knew when to hold back, when to let go, and when to hold me. Missing you is a habit now. I still forget that you’re not around. I still have so much to say. So much to share.  I hope I meet you up there someday.

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Pain…

  1. I know nothing can soothe the pain or replace mom. But you do have some of us who love you unconditionally and always will. **Hugs**

    Tough times don’t last, tough people do!

      1. I feel your pain. When I miss my dad, I look at my mom and feel blessed to have her around. I do know dad is around, I can feel it. But while I miss him, I dont want to miss my time with my mother and family around me.

        The reason I quoted ‘Tough times don’t last, tough people do!’ is coz this is one book my dad ever gave to me and taught me what it means. So hang in there…you will feel your amma’s presence. I promise. xoxoxo

  2. You know what, mom talks to you and she is now talking to you or at least trying hard to make you feel her presence. But, there is so much noise the the inside and you are unable to hear what she is telling. Amma never leaves us and go anywhere. She is right here… Love you very much.

    1. Aww Gayathri – thank you so much – it’s her birthday the day after tomorrow and this is always a difficult time for me,.. but thank you for being there… Love you too!

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