Fiction XXVIII

So what are you getting me for New Years? It’s been a month!” she asks.

“Refer to your blog!” he replies.

“No. I want a solid answer!”

“Which I don’t read, by the way” he says.

“Then how did you know I wrote about it?”

“Intuition.”

“Whatever. Tell no, what are you getting me? And I can’t believe you don’t read my blog. You promised you would! And intuition is not reading!”

“Really?!”

‘Yeah. Really!”

“English is a funny language…”

“So?”

“Five deer are called what ?”

“Deer only!”

“Five dogs ?”

“Err..dogs?”

“Why plural for only a few animals ?”

“Is there a point you’re trying to make out here?. Am missing it.” She simpers.

“Whats a lion’s mate called ?”

“Lioness”

“Tiger’s ?”

“Tigress”

“Zebra’s ?

“Zebra only!”

“Cheetah’s?

” The point am trying to ask is – why are you not reading my blog when you promised you’d check everyday! Not cheetahs and lions and tigresses!”

“Answer my questions first.”

“Sigh. Cheetah. Now you answer MY question. Why did you not read my blog when you promised you  would ?

“Whats a little cat called ?”

“Kitten!”

“Little lion ?”

” Cub!”

“Little zebra ?”

“Zebra only!”

” Effing discrimination! See what I mean ….the world is unjust!”

“Sigh. Okay – I agree. Now will you answer why you didn’t keep your promise?

“I have decided to go on a fast and a moun vrath to make the world understand.”

“Kill me. Kill me NOW!”

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