Things you should NOT say to a toddler’s mother/ do when around a toddler

Well, you already know by now that I have an adorable daughter.  I’ve been getting so much unsolicited advice, ever since she was born, that I am in between deciding whether I should bang my head against the wall or theirs.  I have a huge list in my head now, let’s see how much of it I can sanely tell you.

1. Do not say “She/ he is beautiful” and “looks nothing like you, though” in the same freaking sentence. Because a) you’re implying that I put in 9 months of labour, into creating something, and you’re better off not telling me that I wasted my time. b) Because that means I am NOT beautiful. ( NOT something you would say to someone’s face, in my humble opinion.)

2. Do not say “How come she’s lost so much weight?” or ” Aren’t you feeding her properly” ?? I mean did I ask YOU why you’ve put on weight? That’s a very rude thing to do. And probably will put the mother off you for life. Now I get why my mom used to get so pissed when people said – ” Send your daughter to us, we’ll fatten her up!” We mothers do actually care about how little our kids eat, and spend MOST of our time worrying about it. We do not need you to rub it in thankyouverymuch.

3.  And don’t even get me started on asking my daughter questions like – “Do you like Mommy OR Daddy the most ?” Why subject such a young child to questions like that? And what are you going to get out of it anyway?

4.  If you want to hold her, or him,  please ask first. Before randomly taking her from my arms, while she’s screaming her head off- for me. Its NOT done, and no, I don’t find it cute.

5. Don’t give her your coffee. And justify it with – my baby had coffee when she was much younger. There is a reason why I didn’t give her mine when she asked for it. And I set the rules.  I mean you’ve had your turn at raising your kid your way, let me have mine.

There are still so many more to go. I think I could write a book on this. But this is it for now, I think. What are your pet peeves?

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14 thoughts on “Things you should NOT say to a toddler’s mother/ do when around a toddler

  1. when your baby has a sibling prepare for the comparison marathon fest..which will sometimes be painful and sad.All of it unsolicited mind you.Try laying down rules, some may work, most dont.:)) lots of luv sweety-rr

  2. True that you should write/compile a book. Seriously, it will be in the Humour section. Jaya has written a list like this on her blog.

    One more thing that bugs the sh*t of me is when people pull the kid you are holding and then kiss them on the cheek while the kids tries to pull back while bawling in our ears! ah! I just,just cannot stand that!

    with the sibling thing, I’ve notice is that more often than not, they have contrasting characters and as they grow, i’ve seen parents are comparing let alone others. 😦

    all said and done, great start!

  3. Well, I don’t know enough to comment on this first hand, but I’d imagine that if I see the child is scared/shy of someone (it doesn’t happen with everybody), the person actually invades the child’s personal space and starts to follow it’s head around. I’d really like to tell her “Look lady, you scared the pants of my child, I don’t think forcing it to see your face again and again will make it change it’s opinion about you. Let it go, and we’ll try it again when he/she’s older”.

    Lucid

    1. It’s not just that, L. They just come and snatch her away. No asking, no telling nothing. Like its their goddamn birthright just because they are vaguely related to her. WTF?

  4. loved the post… I go through freaking same thing everyday and you just mentioned most of them.

    My biggest one is- people trying to feed my daughter from their plates, which is totally GROSS and UNHYGIENIC because they have been eating from plate, licking their fingers/spoon. And when I try to politely take my child away, they try to stop me by telling… oh it is okay right, she can eat from my plate!!!…. ummmmm NO she has her own plate and she ate already, please leave her alone and me too. Thankyouverymuch! LOL

    oh and fun part is if our kids are lean and average weight, we hear…why dont u feed them blah blah blah so the kid can be overweight. BUT if kid is overweight, people still don’t shut up, then we get unsolicited advises on ‘how to not feed all that and more’ to your child! **narrowing eyes**

    PS: I got self introduced to you from some of comments on Lucid’s blog. I find your blog pretty interesting and totally feel your pain as a mother to a toddler. I hope you did not mind me posting a comment here. 🙂

  5. @ fusedkid – sorry I took so long to reply. This thing just came up 🙂

    I love what you said and its so bloody true. And of course I don’t mind. Lucid’s my best friend and any friend of his is by default a friend of mine 🙂

    1. yeah…you got me scared for a while…i wondered what took you so long 😉 j/k

      Thank you much for considering me friend by default, we do have one more thing in common, Lucid is my ‘best’ friend as well! 🙂

      Looking forward to your new blogs.

  6. hahahahahaha! am still laughing my head off! sorry sorry, i know it isn’t as funny for the parents, but the way you write, can jus imagine ur face turning red with fury 😀 am quite loving ur blog, girl!

    1. Arrey- its ok. Laugh. I’m like Chandler in F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Use humour as a defense mechanism. And the post was my funny take on stooopid people.

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