Random ramblings…

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, especially about death and life and things like existential angst. I lost my mother about an year ago, and also lost a really really good friend of mine to ovarian cancer soon after. I’ll not delve into my mom’s memories now, because am saving that for another post. So this friend of mine, let’s call her A. She was such a strong girl. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would have been like for her. I mean what would you do if you knew you had only a certain amount of time left in this world? I would have gone stark raving mad and buried myself in self pity. Or gone into complete denial. But this girl,  actually told me what to do, after she passed away. Told me to give her boyfriend a hug. Told me to live life a little more, because she couldn’t. Told me she will love me, even from up there. She passed away on the operating table, right after surgery. And I couldn’t handle it at all. I blamed God, blamed the world, blamed the doctors. But then, slowly started realizing it wasn’t helping at all.  I thought of what she said to me the day before her surgery. That she has no regrets. And that she is happy. Like really. I wonder if I can ever be that strong. Or that brave. What would you do?

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8 thoughts on “Random ramblings…

  1. Hugs to you. May be we should learn from your friend since we don’t have the wisdom to live life to the fullest. In my humble opinion, it is terrible to be the one to love the suffering person, because at last, the person alive is going to be in pain, anguish and helplessness than the one who died. So, big hugs to you.

  2. hey…. i cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to lose a friend who must have really touched ur life in ways no other person can even fathom. Im not going to say ‘I understand’ or ‘follow her advice’ coz that’s crap and u know it. All i can say is that I was moved… and started thinking what it would be like if i lost some of the people closest to me (horrendous, morbid thought, i know!). I have always been a wallow-er, a pessimist. i almost always get bogged down when the times are tough. don’t always show it, but i do.
    Sid, on the other hand, is an eternal optimist and often infuriates me with his optimism! He had a near fatal accident 10yrs ago and so treats everything he has achieved in life as a bonus. So nothing upsets him for too long. And thats the only thing I can tell you too… its not always possible, but being with Sid I have learnt to let go; To enjoy each day as it comes. Ok, I have really rambled on, but hope u get the drift 🙂 here’s to living life to the fullest. Cheers!

    1. Thanks Swati! Best advise ever 🙂 And Sid went thru that? OMG i didn’t know! But good you have him to balance things out for you. I have Pawan to do that for me too 😀

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